Love Letter
by nik-silvourbolt
Summary: Sasami's prank goes turns ugly.


Love Letter

(a.k.a. : Mischievous Postal Worker Sasami.)

By edition, 6-15-05. Original date 6/99.

DISCLAIMER!

The characters you are about to read are characters created by AIC/Pioneer. I don't make any profit from this story. Please don't sue me.

Author's notes:

This story is OVA based, inspired by OVA episode seven. This is also the first fic that I've written with the core characters:) Thanks for reading it, I hope I can entertain you.

So, without further ado, let the story begin, m'kay?

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LOVE LETTER

(a.k.a. MISCHIEVOUS POSTAL WORKER SASAMI)

Once again, it was a bright, sunny day at the Masaki household, sun shining, birds chirping, the whole bit. Azaka and Kamidake opened the gate to the Masaki lands telekinetically, and enjoyed the morning sun...

Kamidake turned his eye to his companion Azaka. And although he was a featureless log, Kamidake could still distinguish the intense, angered, staring look that Azaka was giving him. Azaka was almost shaking in frustration.

Kamidake formed a large bead of sweat on his... uh... head.

If he does it this time... Azaka thought to himself.

The two logs turned to face the front of the Gate. Kamidake looked out onto the lovely scenery... he couldn't help himself...

"Looks like anoth..." Kamidake started.

"DON'T EVEN SAY IT, KAMIDAKE!"

Kamidake fell silent...

Sasami knew she was having a dream- not of things to come- but of something that probably would never happen. Sasami dreamt of her Earth family, sitting down and laughing after dinner. For once, not getting on each others nerves, or breaking things, or yelling at each other… just regular, happy conversation.

And then it was all over...

Sasami got up out of her bed and looked at the scarlet sun making its rise.

Beautiful... She thought.

"We're gonna have fun today somehow!" Gushed the princess.

Tenchi was already up and hard at work, knee deep in carrot country, plowing away at the fields with his trusty hoe.(insert your own joke here.)

Hrrm He grunted.

Geez, I wish Grandpa didn't make me start work so early! 

Tenchi continued plowing for carrots, grumbling about the early hours.

I have trouble sleeping as it is without getting up at the crack of dawn! Why do we have to eat so many carrots? 

Tenchi stopped to wipe his head off. He leaned on his rake and took a moment to look around the beautiful countryside.

Mmm... such a nice day. 

"Teeeeeeeeenchiiiiii... get back to work." A voice called from the distance.

Tenchi looked up at the Masaki shrine, up on a hill a half-mile away from where he was standing, Tenchi's face dropped somewhat.

"Rrr... how does he do that?" Tenchi complained.

Tenchi got back to work prying carrots from the ground. He pulled up another carrot and placed it in his basket. He moved to the next carrot and found he couldn't pull it up with the rake. Tenchi bent down and grabbed the carrot by the end of the stalk that just barely poked out of the ground.

Hrmmph! Tenchi groaned. The carrot wasn't coming out. He grasped it by two hands and pulled harder, but the carrot wasn't going anywhere.

GASP! Tenchi became frustrated and suddenly had an idea.

"Ryo-ohki! Is that you?"

There was no reply to Tenchi's question.

"Allright, this calls for some real action!"

Tenchi rubbed his hands together and squatted over the carrot, grabbing it with both hands. He took two deeps breaths and readied his muscles.

"Here goes." Tenchi proclaimed.

"HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIYAAAAAAAAA! " he screamed, using all the power in his back to hoist the carrot out of the ground.

The carrot moved about a foot and a half out of the ground. Tenchi was shocked to see the carrot was over two feet wide, and that most of it seemed to still be in the ground.

"HOLY COW! HOW BIG IS THIS THING?"

Sasami had been in Nobuyuki's manga library reading girls comics ever since she got up. She had already dusted off three tales of exciting romance and was working on a fourth. With a wistful sigh, Sasami held the book close to her chest, and let her imagination take over.

"Ahh.. someday it'll be like that for me." she dreamed to herself.

Sasami flipped to the next page in anticipation. Would Taro leave his snotty girlfriend, and would he return to Tomoko, who truly loved him? As she turned the page, something fell out from the center of the book and floated to the floor with an almost inaudible thud. At first she thought it was a page or two… after all, the manga was at least twenty years old. But then she noticed that it was folded in half. It was an old piece of paper, slightly turned brown from age. Sasami picked it up the paper and unfolded it.

"Wow!" she said in wonder. Inside the piece of paper was an old photograph of two young people; a boy and a girl sitting in the grass underneath a tree. Sasami looked closely at the young man in the picture... he looked familiar... Suddenly Sasami recognized the man in the photograph.

"Tenchi's father! Wow, he sure was handsome... hey... that tree...it's the same tree as the one down by the lake! Wow! And that woman... she must be Tenchi's mother..."

Sasami put the picture in her pocket, and was about to put away the piece of paper, when she noticed it had writing on it.

"Huh? A letter!" She exclaimed.

Sasami skimmed the letter. It read:

My Darling,

I know I've never said anything to you, but I was afraid, afraid that a wonderful person like you could ever love a poor fool like me. I've wanted to say "I love you" since the moment I first saw you, I've tried to say it a thousand times, but it never came out right. When I first met you my heart wrote a poem, and since I haven't the courage to say those three words to you, I wanted to give you this, to let you know that I love you more than you could ever understand.

If I could live only a moment more,

and spend it looking into your eyes,

your face, your smile,

the way you shine how only I can see.

If I could spend a day in your eyes

or spend a thousand years in paradise

and never be with you,

I would choose your eyes.

A moment's gaze at you is an eternity in heaven.

The fire in your eyes puts the stars to shame,

for your eyes shine more brightly than the

stars could ever dream.

And I couldn't live without your smile,

the smile that makes the sun shine,

yet still sadly reminds me that no one knows

that you're smile's the reason the sun shines.

They just pass by without realizing that without you there would be no sun...

Or stars, and that no light would brighten the world,

So maybe we could share the sun...

And the stars, if only for the two of us...

your fool,

Nobuyuki

Sasami forced back a tear and sighed in dreamy romance.

"Wow. That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard."

Looking up at the top shelf of manga, the hard-core section, Sasami straightened her posture and placed her hands on her hips.

"I wonder what happened!" Sasami asked angrily.

Without warning, a voice called from down the hall.

"Somebody wanna help me with this!"

The voice was Tenchi's, so Sasami got up, placed the letter in her dress, and went to find Tenchi.

Washu exited her subspace lab door and walked out into the hall.

"What's everyone fussin' about?"

Washu's face dropped. Tenchi was half way through the front door, panting heavily, and carrying an eight-foot long carrot. Ayeka was standing in the hall, also shocked at Tenchi's discovery. Floating horizontally above the carrot with her head perched lazily in her hand, Ryoko casually sized up the enormous vegetable.

"HOLY COW!" Washu exclaimed.

Tenchi drug the huge carrot through the door, and let go of it, collapsing to the floor.

"...pant...Washu...pant... is this yours? ...gasp!" Tenchi asked.

"Huh-uh, not mine. You really got a whopper this time didn't ya!"

"Yeah, got it right out of the ground! Good fertilizer I guess!"

Ryoko disappeared and re-materialized behind Tenchi, draping her arms around his neck and giggling.

"...mmm...Tenchi... you're so strong to lug that big carrot all the way over here..." Ryoko said as felt Tenchi up.

Tenchi was too red to say anything.

"Rrr...! Leave Tenchi alone, foul temptress!" (guess who?) said, her face a bright red.

Ryoko let go of Tenchi and pointed to Ayeka, "Hey, mind your own business little girl!"

Ryoko yelled angrily.

"Grr..."

"Rrr..."

Electric bolts formed between their eyes.

"Hey, what's going on?" Said Sasami and Mihoshi, coming down the hall.

"Whoa!" Said Mihoshi, seeing the carrot.

"What'cha got there Washu?" Mihoshi said.

Washu's eyelids dropped half way. "It's not mine." She said matter-of-factly.

"Wow! Does Ryo-ohki know about this?" Sasami said jumping on top of the carrot.

"No. I don't think so." Tenchi said.

At that moment, the group heard a noise in the kitchen making a soft "meow, meow, meow." (and it wasn't the Meow Mix commercial). Ryo-ohki walked right by the entrance separating the hall from the kitchen, and immediately ran back in front of the entrance. She stopped and froze at the end of the hall, seeing the eight foot carrot. Her eyes watered with tears and her mouth hung wide open. She remained like that for approximately 7.3 seconds before she shot off at mach speed, flying through the air, not

even bothering to walk the short distance to her ultimate fantasy come true. Her mouth was wide open as she flew through the air, in half a micro second, she would devour the huge carrot. But unfortunately for her, Tenchi caught her in mid air.

"UH-UH! Not this time! We're saving this one for later! Got it?" Tenchi demanded.

Ryo-ohki let out a defeated sigh and meowed in compliance.

"Good! Now run along." Said Tenchi, setting Ryo-ohki on the ground.

Ryo-ohki cried as Tenchi, Ryoko, Mihoshi, Washu, and Ayeka carried the carrot into the kitchen.

"Huff, this thing is heavy!" Ayeka exclaimed.

Washu pulled out her transparent computer and started typing.

"Amazing! It's approximately eight-feet-seven inches, and two-hundred and seventy-six pounds!"

"Whoa!" The others all cooed.

"Tenchi, can I have a sample for study?"

"Uh... sure, just don't take too..."

"Thanks!" Said Washu, interrupting Tenchi and tearing off a huge chunk of the carrot.

Tenchi sighed as Washu ran off to her lab with a big piece of the carrot, Ryo-ohki following Washu, hoping for a bite.

Mihoshi, Tenchi, Ayeka, and Ryoko dropped the carrot on the floor, catching their breath. Getting an idea, Ryoko got on top of the carrot, and rode it like a bull.

"Woo-hoo! Ride-em cowgirl! Yeeha!" She squealed.

Ayeka gritted her teeth and growled in anger. "Eeew! Ryoko, leave Tenchi's carrot alone!"

"Tenchi wants me to have fun with his carrot, don't ya Tenchi?"

"I, uh..."

"Stop playing with Tenchi's carrot, you criminal!"

For a moment, Ryoko's face hardened with anger, but she calmed herself quickly, dismounted the carrot and walked over to Ayeka, smiling seductively.

"Tenchi wants me to play with his carrot. I'll be playing with his carrot alllllll night long." She said giggling seductively.

Tenchi went red (again) and froze.(again).

"Slut." Ayeka said under her breath.

Mihoshi opened the door to the fridge and looked down at the huge carrot, trying to figure out how to get it all in the fridge.

"Um... okay, so now what? Mihoshi asked.

Tenchi and Mihoshi picked the carrot up and tried to force it into the fridge.

"Umph! It's not moving!" Tenchi wailed.

"Here, let me help you Tenchi." Ryoko responded gaily.

The demon pirate walked up to Mihoshi and Tenchi without warning and threw the carrot a powerful roundhouse punch.

WHAAAAAAAAMMM!

"AAAAHH!"

"EEEEEEIII!"

The force sent Mihoshi and Tenchi flying through the air, as the carrot jammed into the fridge. While the others lay on the floor groaning in pain, Ryoko calmly shut the door and dusted off her hands before walking away contently.

"Ouch." Mihoshi whimpered softly.

Sasami was lying on the bed reading the manga from earlier when Ayeka stormed into the room, angry with Ryoko.

"Eeeew! That woman! Hanging all over Tenchi like that!"

"Why do get so angry, Ayeka?" Said Sasami, still reading her comic.

The question caught Ayeka off guard, but she quickly regained her composure. "Well... Tenchi... Tenchi... "

"Why don't you just SAY your in love with Tenchi?"

"What do you mean by that!" Said a shocked Ayeka.

"Just what I said. Why don't you tell Tenchi you're in love with him?"

"You, you...you're impossible!" Said Ayeka, storming out the door.

Hmm... poor Ayeka, she can never show her feelings. Sasami thought sadly.

Suddenly an idea brewed rapidly in Sasami's brain. The thought caused her to gasp delightedly as a mischievous look of wonder crossed her face.

Tenchi would be coming here in a few minutes to dust off the dresser...

She reached into her shirt and pulled out Nobuyuki's letter. Quickly, she grabbed a pencil and started to erase.

"your fool, Nobuyuki."

" r fool Nobuyuki"

" ol Nobuyuki"

" yuki"

" "

"Perfect!" Sasami yelled.

She skimmed the letter for references to Tenchi's mother's name. Finding none, she placed the piece of paper on the dresser. She hid behind the bed and waited for Tenchi to come and read it.

He, he! O boy! She thought to herself. When Tenchi reads this he'll think Ayeka wrote it! Hee, hee. 

Suddenly, Sasami heard footsteps coming down the hall. Ducking behind the bed, she peeked her head out and waited for Tenchi to find the letter.

"O, Sasami, I just came to remind you to cook breakfast this morning, Father has to leave early today." Ayeka called as she re-entered the room.

"Ayeka!" Sasami exclaimed.

"Yes, well get to it! We're getting hungry."

Ayeka picked the letter up off the counter and held it in her hand.

ACK! Sasami was mortified, her face went blue and she gnashed her teeth in agony.

Ayeka read the letter and Sasami watched as her sister suddenly became... happy! She now looked heavenly, a smile across her face, her eyes watering.

"Oh, joyous day!" Ayeka cried. She looked slyly at Sasami and gloated. "Hmm... I think I'll just go now and talk to Tenchi about this letter he gave me." She said with a big smile.

"Letter HE gave you?" Sasami exclaimed.

"Yes, he must have just dropped this letter off for me."

"Didn't you see him leave it?" Ayeka asked.

Sasami looked sheepishly at Ayeka. "Uh...no..."

"No matter. " Ayeka said, grabbing the letter and heading off merrily down the hall.

Sasami chased after Ayeka, down the stairs and down the hall.

"Uh, Ayeka, can I uh... see that letter."

Ayeka was in such a blissful state that she barely acknowledged her.

"Hmm, it's kind of personal, Sasami." Ayeka said elatedly.

"Oh, uh...can I see it anyway? PLEASE?" Said Sasami, sweating profusely.

This time Ayeka completely ignored the question and let her mind wander as she continued on her way to Tenchi.

Ayeka walked into the living room where Ryoko was loafing on the couch.

"Hey there Princess, done already? Usually you sulk in your room a lot longer than that."

"Ha, ha ha, Ryoko you poor fool, if you knew what I know you'd just give up right now! A

HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA!"

"Geez, what's your deal, did you just discover your breasts are finally starting to grow?"

If anything could have brought Ayeka down from her high... that was it.

"Rrr, I 've had enough of you!" Ayeka yelled.

"I've heard that before!" Ryoko retorted.

"Eeeew!"

"Rrr!"

The two girls locked hands and began to tussle around the floor. After a few minutes, both girls were dead tired and panting on the floor.

"Huff! I have no time to wrestle with a monster like you!" Ayeka said, leaving in a huff.

Ryoko gave her a raspberry and got back on the couch.

Sasami almost ran after Ayeka, but she noticed the letter was on the floor!

She picked the letter off the floor and sighed in relief.

Whew! At least I got the letter back! Sasami thought.

She went to go replace the letter where she found it when she got another idea...

She looked over at Ryoko on the couch... and at the letter in her hands... and then at

Ryoko again...

No... no, I shouldn't... but it would be fun! Sasami made up her mind. She sneaked up

behind Ryoko on the couch and placed the letter next to Ryoko.

Ryoko was so interested in her program she didn't even notice Sasami.

Ryoko rolled over on the couch and on top of the letter, she heard it crumple up and grabbed it.

The space pirate read the letter aloud to herself in mumbles, while Sasami watched over by the doorway in fascination.

Suddenly Ryoko stood up on the couch, her jaw wide open. She stepped backwards onto the backrest of the couch and re-read the letter.

"uh, hu, hu, HA! HA, HA, HA!" Ryoko laughed hysterically.

She floated through the living room momentarily, and then shot off into the air, through the roof, flying faster than Sasami had ever seen before.

Sasami ran over to the glass door and put her face and hands on it, watching Ryoko fly over the lake, spinning and twirling in an elated aerial dance of joy.

"Whoa!" Sasami cooed. She walked outside to continue watching Ryoko's victory dance.

"TEENCHIIIIIIIIII!" Ryoko called.

Ryoko flew by the shrine, searching for her love, she buzzed the fields, and flew back over the lake towards the Masaki house, separating the lake with a wall of waves.

"TENCHI DARLING!"

As Ryoko buzzed the ground she passed by over Sasami's head, the young Juraian princess jumped up and the snatched the letter out of Ryoko's hand. The lovestruck spacepirate was going so fast she was unable to notice Sasami had taken it.

This should be good! Sasami thought to herself as she trailed off after Ryoko.

Sasami hid in the shrubs. Luckily, she found Tenchi before the show started...

Ayeka strolled up behind Tenchi with all the confidence and pride in the world. She had dreamt of this day and played it over in her mind a thousand times. She would sneak up on him, and tap him on the shoulder, and Tenchi would turn around, ever so slowly... and

then see her face, and be so happy to see her that he would be able to contain himself no longer, embracing her in a passionate kiss...

Ayeka crept up behind Tenchi without him knowing. Tenchi merely continued raking up the leaves on the steps whistling away while Ayeka closed her eyes, and raised her hand to touch him on the shoulder...

"TENCHIIIIIIIIIIII!" Ryoko boomed throughout the country-side, cutting Ayeka off before she had a chance to tap Tenchi. Ryoko flew through the air with all the speed and force of an oncoming freight train, snatching the startled Tenchi off the steps and up into the air.

"EEEEIIIIAAAAAAAAH!" Tenchi screamed.

The space pirate hugged Tenchi tightly as she soared through the morning sky. "Oh, Tenchi, darling! I'm so happy, aren't you?"

"I'LL BE A LOT HAPPIER WHEN I'M ON THE GROUND!"

Ryoko giggled and flew back down to the steps. Once they were grounded, Ryoko still maintained her bear hug on Tenchi. Tenchi pried himself away from Ryoko and fell to the

ground gasping.

"...ohhhhh... first, I'm gonna throwup... then, I'm gonna ask what that was for." Tenchi wailed.

"Ah, Tenchi, there's no need to hide it now! I read your..."

"Miss Ryoko! What are you doing!"

"Eeew, Ayeka, you know just when to spoil things!"

"I know how to spoil things! You're a fine one to accuse me of that, you simpleton!"

"Why don't you quit bothering Tenchi, you old bag!" Ryoko taunted.

"Old bag! I'm not the one who's five-thousand years old here!"

"Why you..."

The two got into yet another verbal war, leaving Tenchi confused and depressed.

Sasami came up next to Tenchi to watch the sparks fly.

"What's this all about?" Tenchi asked Sasami.

"Oh… nothing!" Sasami said as she giggled at the scene she had provoked. "Com'on Tenchi, let's go see what Washu's doing with that carrot." Sasami said as she grabbed Tenchi's hand and led him away.

Washu typed madly at her transparent computer, eating a hot dog as she crunched numbers.

"Mmm...crunch, crunch yep, it's official!" She screamed aloud to no one.

Washu heard the lab alarm on her door go off, and continued to eat her hot dog.

"Come in." She called.

Washu heard her crab chime rattle. She turned around to see Tenchi walk through the door, followed by Sasami.

"Ah! Tenchi! Come in and see what I've discovered about that carrot."

"What did you find Little-Washu?" Tenchi asked.

"Well, first of all, it's a common carrot, no genetic modification, chemical or radiation factors involved in it's size, so I guess it's just a regular super carrot! Secondly, it's the largest carrot of it's kind on Earth! Congrats!"

"Wow! That sure is weird!" Tenchi said, rubbing the back of his head.

"I guess you won't have to dig for carrots the next few days, eh Tenchi?" Washu said.

"I wish." He replied depressedly.

GRUMBLE

Tenchi rubbed his stomach. "All this talk about carrots sure has made me hungry!" He said cheerily.

"Oops! I forgot to make breakfast!" Sasami remembered.

"Don't worry, I'll find something in the fridge." Tenchi assured her as he headed off toward the kitchen.

"Mmm... sounds good! I think I'll join ya Tenchi!" Washu called back. The scientist got up from her chair and ran after Tenchi. Sasami watched as the door closed behind Washu.

She pulled out the note and stared at it.

"Well I guess I'd better put you back." She told the letter.

"She headed towards the door, but a moment before she turned the knob, it opened and Ryoko stuck her head through it.

"Washu?" Ryoko called. "Hey, Washu! Did I leave anything in here?" Ryoko asked anxiously. "Oh, Sasami! You found it! Thanks!" Ryoko said as she snatched the letter from the little girl's hands.

Sasami froze in her tracks.

"This piece of paper is very special to me! Thanks for finding it!"

"Now run along!" Ryoko said, pushing Sasami through the door.

"Hey! Wait..." Sasami pleaded as Ryoko shut the door.

SLAM

Ryoko leaned on the door in Washu's lab, sighing in delight.

I've gotta look good for Tenchi tonight! Ryoko thought to herself.

Tenchi walked into the kitchen and grabbed hold of the refrigerator door.

"So, whaddaya want, Washu? Curry, Pizza, fish, noodles, rice?"

"Yes." The redhead replied.

Tenchi sighed and opened the door...

WHAM!

Two feet of carrot shot out of the fridge when Tenchi opened the door, knocking Tenchi in the face and onto the floor.

"Owww..." Tenchi moaned.

Ryoko ransacked Washu's equipment.

"Hmmm... no..." She said, mixing two beakers of fluid together.

"She ripped a drawer out of a desk, emptied it's contents and threw it over her shoulder.

"Nope." She exclaimed.

Next, Ryoko ran over to a table, examining the items placed on top of it.

"Rrr... DOESN'T WASHU HAVE ANY MAKEUP?" She yelled angrily.

Sure, she could have asked Ayeka for some, but that might be too painful for Ayeka, unwittingly helping Ryoko win Tenchi's love.

BUT I'VE ALREADY GOT IT! " He, he!" She laughed, throwing her arms in the air.

Ryoko looked down into a vat of bubbling brown/green goo, a label marked the vat which Ryoko failed to examine:

"SAMPLE # 3670189. HIGHLY UNSTABLE CHEMICAL COMPOUND"

Hmm, guess this will have too do. She thought to herself.

"After, all I gotta look good for Tenchi tonight!"

Ryoko took a cup of the goo and poured it into a beaker.

"And, for texture..." Ryoko grabbed a beaker of some yellow substance she picked out at random off Washu's desk.

She added a drop...

And nothing happened...

"Hmph, well here goes."

Ryoko smeared the substance all over her face, under her eyes, on her lips, everywhere until she looked like a retarded Indian.

"Oooh! How does Ayeka do this?"

Suddenly, the vat containing Ryoko's "makeup" gave off an electric bolt.

"Huh!" Ryoko said confusedly.

CRA, CRA...CRACKLE! BZZZZZZZZZT!

KA-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

When the smoke cleared, Ryoko was flipped upside down, onto her back, severely blackened, and smelling like shit.

"What a day..." She moaned.

Suddenly a sensation crept into Ryoko's face, she started to scratch her face...

The letter floated through the air, being blasted away from Ryoko's hand when the vat exploded. The wind carried it thirty or so feet, passing Washu's equipment, past the pond and over a few plants until it settled nicely on Washu's floating chair...

"Tenchiiiiiiiiiii!" Nobuyuki called as he entered through the front door. He set his briefcase down and waited for his son.

"Hey Dad, what are you doing here? It's not even close to the time you usually get home."

"Well I decided to take the day off and spend it with my family!" Nobuyuki suddenly formed a large grin on his face. Excitedly, the older man looked around the room. "So... where are the girls! Y'know I haven't hardly had any time to spend with them since they got here!"

Tenchi's eyelids dropped half closed. "They're watching T.V." He said suspiciously.

"Well that sounds like a great idea! Hee, hee! I think I'll go watch it with them!"

Nobuyuki started for the living room when Tenchi stopped him.

"Dad, uh... just don't uh... peep."

"Tenchi, Tenchi... I haven't the slightest idea what you mean, hee hee!" With that, he ran off down the hall.

Washu, Sasami, and Mihoshi were all sitting on the couch watching their three-million plus channel TV. Mihoshi and Washu leaned in closely to watch Popoko slap her sister for stealing her boyfriend, on their favorite program.

"Oh, no! Look, she's gonna do it!" Mihoshi wailed.

Washu gasped in excitement, but Sasami was busy thinking about the letter.

"What's the matter Sasami? You don't seem interested in the show." Mihoshi said.

"Uh, nothing, I just lost concentration for a minute." The little girl replied.

"Shh! Quiet! It's getting good!" Washu demanded, waving a hand in the air.

"Hi girls!" Nobuyuki said, entering the room. "Just thought I'd see what you lovely ladies are up to!"

"Hi Mr. Masaki." The girls said.

"Oh! Watching Television, eh? Don't mind if I do!"

Nobuyuki sat down between Mihoshi and Washu, he yawned, throwing his arms up and then settling them down over Washu and Mihoshi's shoulders. Washu and Mihoshi were petrified, only the large bead of sweat on their heads moved.

"Ah, spending time with one's family is a beautiful thing indeed." Nobuyuki said with a smile.

"IIIIII... think I'll go finish that... thing... I have in the lab!" Washu said, pulling Nobuyuki's arm off of her.

Washu walked into her lab and went to sit down on her floating chair. She was about to sit down when she noticed a piece of paper on her chair.

"Huh?"

Washu picked up the letter...

"Wha... wha!" Said Washu.

"Who would have...ACK!" She screamed.

"Oh, no! Tenchi!" She realized.

I wasn't expecting this! Why? I never gave him any reason to... uh...well I told him it was just a medical sample! I didn't mean to imply anything! Geez! What do I tell Ryoko? I gotta find Tenchi. 

Sasami set on a stool in the kitchen, Ryo-ohki was trying to claw her way through the fridge.

"No, Ryo-ohki! Tenchi said to keep that carrot for later!" Sasami told the cabbit.

"Meooooow." Ryo-ohki mewed sadly.

Hmm... well, Ryoko didn't have the letter when I asked her, so she must have thrown it away. The blue haired princess said.

"Hey Sasami, have you seen Tenchi?" Said Washu, entering the room.

"Yeah, he's... AAAAAAAH!..." Sasami screamed.

The little princess looked down at Washu, Sasami took a close look at the object in Washu's hand. It was a little folded brownish-yellow piece of paper.

"Heh, heh, I, uh, umm, Washu, what've you got in your hand?"

"Not right now, Sasami, I need to find Tenchi... FAST!"

Oh, God. Sasami thought.

"So have you seen him?"

"Uh, well Tenchi went to the store. He should be back in an hour or so."

Washu paused, she looked tense, and very nervous. Her eyes wouldn't stay closed.

Sasami started to panic. She frantically looked around for an answer to her problem...she found a frying pan...

"Oh, look Washu there's a bug on your dress!" Sasami yelled.

"Huh?" Was all Washu could say before Sasami knocked her upside the head with the frying pan.

While Washu was on the floor, Sasami knelt over and grabbed the letter out of Washu's pocket.

"Ooooooo... Why did you do that?"

"uh... there was a bug on your dress, like I said." Sasami retorted.

"SO WHY DID YOU HIT ME IN THE HEAD?"

"uh... I, uh... missed." Sasami said sheepishly.

Sasami got Washu an ice pack and walked her back over to the couch. On the way there, threw the letter in the trash.

The kitchen was empty, not a footstep could be heard, nor a person to be seen... until a shadow fell upon the trashcan.

Washu and Sasami walked into the living room, Sasami holding a bag of ice to Washu's head.

"Hey, Washu! What Happened?" Mihoshi called.

"The Orkin girl nailed me with a frying pan." Said Washu as she pointed at Sasami.

"Ouch. Did she hurt you?" The blonde asked.

"Not enough to knock me out, but it gave me something to think about." Washu said with irritation.

Washu laid on her back on the couch.

"Oooooooooooow, oh, man...Mihoshi? Could you get me some more ice from the fridge?"

"Um, sure Washu, you just lay there!" Mihoshi said happily.

"A good friendship between two women is a beautiful thing, indeed!" Nobuyuki cheered.

Washu took the ice off her face.

"Shut up."

Mihoshi entered the kitchen happily as ever, and walked over to the fridge.

"Tra, la, la, la laaaaaa!" The detective sang happily. "Heyyyy..." Mihoshi started.

Something was hanging on the door of the fridge... it looked like a piece of paper...

"What's this?" Mihoshi asked.

She grabbed the letter and opened it.

"Wow! For me!" Mihoshi squealed.

Hmmm... someone left this here for me to find it. She thought to herself.

"Who put this here?" She asked out loud.

A memory flashed through Mihoshi's mind. (Wavy lines, wavy lines!)

"oooooooooooooh... Mihoshi, could you get me some more ice from the fridge?" 

Mihoshi's face hit the floor. Mihoshi instantly turned blue. Beyond blue; totally mortified.

"Oh, boy." She managed to squeak out.

Ayeka primped herself as finely as she ever had before. The princess actually glowed radiance, as she put on her finest dress. She walked downstairs and out the door to the backyard. Ayeka walked into the Juraian "flower pot" Washu had made for her after Kagato had destroyed her ship, and stood in front of the sprout Ryu-oh had grown.

"Record message." Ayeka commanded the sprout.

The sprout shot out two small beams of light in response.

"Good. Begin."

Ayeka cleared her throat and stood up straight, and with all the grace and dignity of the princess of Jurai, she started her message.

"Hello Mother, so good to know this will reach you, I have some wonderful news to..."

Ayeka stopped.

Her posture changed, she growled for a moment, and then looked around to see if anyone was watching.

"Rrr... delete message." She commanded.

"Begin." She said again.

Ayeka's former graceful exterior broke down, her eyes watered, and she formed a goofy smile.

"Oh, Mommy! I've finally found the man who really loves me! Hee, hee, hee, hee , hee! I'm so happy! I think Tenchi's gonna ask to marry me! Please come down here for the wedding! Bye Mommy! I love you!"

Ayeka's voice returned to it's regular pitch and she once again straightened her posture.

The smile, however, remained...

Washu was knocking back a round of sake in the living room. She still held a bag of ice to her head.

Maybe I can clear this up with Tenchi before Ryoko finds out. Washu said.

Oh, my poor little girl, I was sure he was in love with you. She thought to herself.

Mihoshi peeped her head out the side of the entrance, hoping that Washu wouldn't notice.

She quickly duck and rolled over onto the floor, stopping behind a fake tree in the

living room, making sure Washu didn't see her, she again stuck her head out and watched Washu. Mihoshi's face was a mix of fear, and stress.

Mihoshi looked both ways before again jumping out from behind the tree, ducking and rolling behind the couch. Mihoshi peeked her head up behind Washu and watched the scientist intently.

"Well that was very impressive. Are you playing spy?" Washu said to Mihoshi.

Surprised at being caught, Mihoshi screamed and ran away.

Ryoko walked up to Yosho's office to have a little chat. She scratched her face vigorously the whole way to the shrine.

Rrr... stupid exploding makeup! When will this stop itching? 

Yosho sat at his table, sipping his green tea and reading a newspaper.

KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK

"Come in." Yosho said.

"Aah, Ryoko, what is it that you want?" Yosho asked politely.

Ryoko fought the urge to scratch her face and cleared her throat, preparing her sweetest voice.

"Ack, hmm...Grandfather, I have something of great importance to talk to you about." Said Ryoko in the humblest voice that any demon-space pirate could muster.

Not again... Yosho thought. "Yes, what you like to talk about."

"Well, I, uh, think some BIG changes are going to take place in my and Tenchi's life, and well, I was wondering..."

Ryoko had to stop. Her face suddenly itched SOOOOO bad she felt as if bugs had dug under her skin.

"Go on, Ryoko." Yosho said, sipping his tea.

Ryoko fought as hard as she could from just breaking into an all out scratching freak.

"... uh well..." Ryoko's face was tight and she began to tremble with unbearable itching pain, she didn't move her face at all, she merely stood there looking like a side-show puppet act.

"I think that Tenchi is...is..." Ryoko was now sweating profusely.

"Yes." Yosho said.

Ryoko was now shaking more violently than ever before.

"... Tenchi's gonna... gonna... DAAAAAAAH!" Ryoko splurted out.

Ryoko suddenly kicked the table upside down violently.

She fell onto the floor and began writhing and scratching herself like a madman, digging into her epidermis with her nails and moaning.

Yosho remained calm as ever, confused yes, but calm.

"Perhaps you should take that outside." Said Yosho.

Washu was sitting on a stool in the kitchen, eating some rice and typing on her T-computer.

How the Hell could that carrot get so big? She pondered.

Mihoshi stuck her head out from the side of the kitchen, she was trembling and frightened, but she gathered up all the strenght that she could and walked over to Washu,

cautiously.

I'm a Galaxy Police Person, I'm a Galaxy Police Person, I am a GALAXY POLICE PERSON! She reassured herself, even as she trembled in fear.

Washu frowned and out a hand on her head, still trying to figure a way out of her Tenchi situation.

"Hey, Mihoshi."

"AAAAAAH!" Mihoshi yelled, hiding unsuccesfully under a stool.

"Ooookaaaaaaaaaay." Said a confused Washu.

Mihoshi stopped her crying and got out from under the stool.

"Yeah, sit on that side, it's much more comfortable." Said Washu.

Mihoshi was sweating NERVOUSLY and gritted her teeth in tension.

"Uh... Wa, Wa, Wa, Wa, Wa..."

"Washu." The scientist said.

"Wa, Washu... uh, we gotta talk... about the, the, the, the,"

"Hey, Mihoshi calm down." Washu said as she placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Screamed Mihoshi.

The GP detective blasted off out of the room, leaving Washu in the dust.

"Hmph, what's with her?" Washu said, already interested in something else.

Tenchi walked into Katsuhito's office, and threw a stack of groceries down on the floor.

"Grandpa... hey, Grandpa!" Tenchi called.

"Over here Tenchi." Called Katsuhito, standing in front of the window, his hands behind his back.

Tenchi walked over to his grandfather and looked out at what the old man was staring at.

It was Ryoko, walking down the steps of the Masaki shrine, she seemed to be in a good deal of pain.

"Why's Ryoko's face red?" Tenchi said.

"Women problems." Katsuhito said.

Tenchi stared at his grandfather.

Weirdo. He thought.

"The girls have been acting strangely since you left this morning."

"Oh, really." Tenchi said sarcastically.

"Perhaps you should find out what's going on." Katsuhito offered.

"Uh, actually, I think I'll stay away from the house for a little while." Tenchi said.

Washu enjoyed her television and her fruit drink as she sat and pondered the predicament she had created for herself.

I'll just have to break it to him lightly. She thought.

Mihoshi walked up to Washu, knowing that this time, she would accomplish her mission.

"Washu, we really need to talk." Mihoshi said nervously.

"Okay, what?"

"About the letter."

Washu went blank.

"AAAH! You found the letter!"

"Yes, I did." Mihoshi said.

"I can explain..." Said Washu.

"There's no need to explain, Washu, there's nothing to say, it just won't work."

"Huh?"

"I know how you feel."

"You do?"

"Yes, I know you had no control over it." Mihoshi reassured.

"Oh, geez, Mihoshi, don't worry I'll straighten this out, just don't get involved."

"Huh?"

"Just don't say anything to anyone, ESPECIALLY Ryoko!" Washu begged.

"Oh, don't worry, I understand how you wouldn't want this to get out!" Mihoshi said laughingly.

"I just wasn't expecting Tenchi to do this, it really got me off guard.

"Well that's okay I... WHAT!" Mihoshi squealed.

"I wasn't expecting Tenchi to do that. Now keep quiet!" Washu demanded.

"TENCHI!" Mihoshi yelled.

If the letter was written by Tenchi... that would mean that... TENCHI wrote the letter! Mihoshi thought, her face gleaming with light and her eyes as bright as stars.

And then suddenly she realized the idiocy on her part for thinking Washu had written the letter.

Oooh I hope she didn't figure out I was talking about her! Mihoshi prayed.

The two seperated and gathered their thoughts.

Mihoshi walked down the hall. She pulled out the letter and read it again.

Wow! Tenchi in love with me! She thought.

"Wow! I'm so happy!" Mihoshi cried. She started bouncing up and down off the floor, hopping around like a rabbit.

"Oh! I bet we'll get married, and have a house, and some kids and a dog and a cat! Ha! Ha! Ha!"

Nobuyuki ran into the hall and saw Mihoshi bouncing up and down.

She sure looks happy! He thought.

"... and a fish and a turtle and a little picket fence! And a..." Mihoshi continued

jumping, and seeing Tenchi's father, she jumped into his chest, throwing her arms around his neck and resuming her bouncing.

"Oh, Mr. Masaki! I'm so happy!" She said, still bouncing up and down.

"Wha!" Said Nobuyuki, not understanding why Mihoshi was acting like she was... not that he was minding it...

"Hee, hee! Ha! Ha! Ha!" She cackled.

Mihoshi grabbed Nobuyuki's hands and then went bouncing away down the hall.

"What was that all about?" Nobuyuki asked.

He looked into his hand and saw that Mihoshi had left note in his hand. Nobuyuki opened The letter and read it.

"Whoa!" He exclaimed.

Shock and disbelief left him, and suddenly a grin formed on his face...it bursted into a full blown smile, and then, maniacal laughter.

"Looks like the old Nobuyuki charm is working overtime!" He yelled, throwing a triumphant fist in the air.

"Nobuyuki, what's wrong?" Said Katsuhito, entering the hall.

"Oh, nothing Father! Hee! Hee! Well I gotta be going!" Nobuyuki said, running off hapily.

"Hm,hm, hm, hm, hm, hmmm!" Sasami hummed.

Sasami was almost knocked down by Nobuyuki racing through the hall, he was running so fast almost stepped on her.

"Wha!" Said Sasami, ducking out of the way.

Sasami noticed that Nobuyuki stuffed something in his pocket as he went by.

No... that couldn't be. She thought.

Seeing Tenchi's grandfather in the hall, she went to ask him a few questions.

"Uh, Grandfather? What was it that Tenchi's father had in his hand?"

Katsuhito was still confused from seeing Nobuyuki act so strange.

"Hmm... I don't know, Mihoshi handed him a piece of paper and then ran off,"

"MIHOSHI?" Sasami screamed.

"Yes. That's when Nobuyuki started acting so strangely." Said Yosho.

How did she get the letter! I threw it away. Sasami thought in horror.

"Thanks Grandfather." Sasami said.

She then quickly ran off to the kitchen.

Yosho calmly stood in the hall and watched her leave. After a moment he began chuckling to himself.

"Meow, meow, meow." Said Ryo-ohki, still trying to dig through the three inch thick metal refrigerator door. Hearing someone coming, she hid behind the stove

Sasami bursted into the kitchen and immediately turned the garbage can upside down. The second princess of Jurai then started digging through garbage, hoping to find that one damned piece of paper.

"It's not here!" She screamed.

Taking the rotting banana off her head and throwing it to the side she stuffed the garbage back into the trashcan.

Oh, well. At least this could be fun to watch… She thought.

And at least it can't get any worse. 

Safely in her room, Ayeka's face was glowing in radiance.

Knocking back another round of noodles in her lab, Washu's face was severely stressed.

Sitting on her beam in the living room, Ryoko's face was violently being scratched.

Lounging in the onsen, Mihoshi's face was ecstaticly happy and bright.

Still trying to get her carrot, Ryo-ohki's face was extremly frustrated.

Mihoshi was in the onsen, enjoying the steamy water and blushling, brightly.

"Wow! I had never thought about what would happen if Tenchi me to be his girlfriend! Hee, hee!"

At that moment the onsen door slid open, a head of black hair stuck out and a pair of peeping eyes followed.

Hee! Hee! Nobuyuki thought to himself.

He walked into the onsen wearing nothing but a skimpy towel, his glasses, and a smile...

Mihoshi continued to dream on about herself and Tenchi, not noticing Nobuyuki enter until he put his hand on her shoulder...

"BWAAAAH!" She screamed, jumping away.

She turned around to see it was Tenchi's father and she tried, vainly trying to cover herself.

"Mr Masaki?" She screamed.

"Now, now, you don't mind me!" Nobuyuki said, stepping into the water.

"Mu, Mu, Mister Masaki, what're you doing here!" She asked.

"Hey there, it's okay! Why, we're practically family now!" Nobuyuki said in a low voice.

"Oh, yeah..." Mihoshi said, still a bit nervous.

So that's how it works on Earth. Mihoshi thought.

Just then Nobuyuki ripped his towel off with an overly dramatized gesture.

Mihoshi whimpered...

Reluctantly she settled back down into the water. Nobuyuki sat down beside her... CLOSELY beside her, and then throwing an arm around her shoulder like he had done earlier. Mihoshi was still quite nervous.

"You know how deeply I feel about family baths!" Nobuyuki said with excitement.

"Umm, yeah!" Mihoshi said nervously.

Tenchi's father is getting a bit close! Oooooooh! Mihoshi thought as Nobuyuki moved nearer.

Mihoshi decided she had to break the awkward silence.

"Umm, so, what do think about all this." Mihoshi said.

Nobuyuki straightened up tensely and kneeled before her, looking deep into her eyes, he took her hand, and with all the seriousness in the world...

A white light shined in through the ceiling and seemed to focus on Nobuyuki...

"I couldn't possibly be any happier." Nobuyuki said.

"Wow. Me too."

Nobuyuki resumed his previous position at Mihoshi's side and let his arms wonder, making Mihoshi more and more nervous.

"Now! My little chimichanga! Let's consumate our bond!" Said Nobuyuki, feeling up Mihoshi.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!" Mihoshi screamed.

Mihoshi jumped out of the water and ran out of the onsen naked.

Nobuyuki just sat there, completly confused.

Oh, playing hard to get eh? Nobuyuki said.

"Hee! Hee! Hee! Hee! Hee!"

It was now late at the Masaki house. The sun was going down and Azaka and Kamidake had just shut the gate. Tenchi walked cautiously through the front door, remembering his grandfather's warning and peeking around for any sign of the girls. He found the house to be quiet, VERY quiet. Which at this house, was never good. He slowly walked into the kitchen, Tenchi saw that dinner had already been cooked, so he walked into the dining room and saw a sight that quite frankly frightened the Hell out of him.

Each member of his family sat in complete silence at the table. None of them had started eating yet, they all just sat there doing nothing, and they were ALL staring intensely at him.

Tenchi put his sachel down and quietly sat down at his seat, he still hadn't blinked yet, and neither had they. Tenchi looked around the table, to his left was Ryoko, although her face was tomato red, her eyes were shining brightly and it seemed as if she were about to break into tears.

Next to Ryoko sat Ayeka. She was dressed fancier than Tenchi had ever seen, decked out in her most regal of outfits. Her eyes also were shining and she also seemed to be on the verge of tears. She had her hands clasped tightly together and held them closely to her bosom.

Next to Ayeka sat his father. He stopped staring at Tenchi momentarily and it seemed to Tenchi that he was staring and making eyes at Mihoshi.

Directly in front of Tenchi sat his grandfather, he seemed as solem as ever but still... it looked as if he was trying to repress a smile.

To Tenchi's far left was Sasami. There was no doubt in Tenchi's mind that she was supressing a smile. In fact it looked like Sasami was trying to keep herself from busting into an all out laugh riot. Sasami quickly looked around the table just as Tenchi

had, her grin grew wider and wider as she looked from person to person. She made a funny snorting noise as she covered her mouth so that she wouldn't start laughing.

Ryo-ohki sat on the floor next to Sasami, she looked incredibly depressed, probably since she couldn't get that giant carrot in the fridge, Tenchi suspected. Ryo-ohki stared sadly into Tenchi's eyes looking for help.

Washu sat beside Sasami. She looked extremely nervous and in disarray. The moment she noticed Tenchi was looking at her she turned her head away quickly, and a moment later resumed her staring.

And finally, to his right sat Mihoshi. Her eyes were shining and it seemed that she was about to bust into tears, just like Ayeka and Ryoko!

AND ALL OF THEM WERE STARING AT TENCHI INTENTLY!

"Mmm, I'm hungry. And this food looks quite good Sasami." Katsuhito said.

" SNICKER... uh YeAh!" Said Sasami, laughing in the middle of her sentence.

She cleared her throat and tried again. "Thanks." She said.

"Well, let's eat." Said Katsuhito.

The group began to eat... but that didn't mean things stopped getting any weirder.

Ayeka ate her food slowly, almost seductively... she kept her eyes fixed on Tenchi in a sultry gaze.

Tenchi noticed Ayeka and flushed red.

Ayeka winked at Tenchi.

Mihoshi still hadn't began eating yet, she still continued staring at Tenchi.

Washu brought her chopstick full of beef slowly to her mouth, although she did it different from Ayeka, because she was shaking so nervously the beef almost fell out of her chopsticks.

Yosho ate his food as normal.

Ryoko broke the odd silence. She cupped her face in her hands and stared deeply at Tenchi.

"So, Tenchi, where have you been hiding all day." Ryoko said in her most sultry voice.

"Oh, well I went off to get some groceries, I figured that giant carrot would... uh..."

Tenchi stopped to see Ryoko was making some interesting motions with her tounge. Sasami suddenly let out another small burst of laughter.

"Go on Tenchi." She said, again using her sultry voice.

"... oh, uh, I thought the carrot would save me some time in the fields." He said.

Tenchi suddenly noticed something kicking his foot. He then noticed that something was making it's way up his leg, getting a bit friendly. He didn't kick the thing away because, well... it felt like a foot. He looked over at Ryoko, still making strange eyes at Tenchi... but he could see both her feet. Looking to his right, Mihoshi was still not

eating, but Tenchi could see both her feet in place. He looked towards Ayeka, sitting indian style. Nope. Both legs accounted for. Washu, both legs still there. Sasami was too short for her leg to reach that far and Ryo-ohki was sitting behind Sasami... then Tenchi

looked at his father... and it became painfully obvious that he had his body just a bit too far under the table.

Tenchi opened his mouth wide open in disbelief. Tenchi was about to do something when he noticed that his father was staring directly at Mihoshi, not even looking at Tenchi.

Oh God, he thinks I'm Mihoshi. Tenchi thought.

WHY WOULD HE BE DOING THAT TO MIHOSHI! He thought frantically.

No one noticed this because everyone was so intent on staring at Tenchi.

Pervert. He added.

Sasami looked back and forth at Tenchi and Nobuyuki. Fully understanding the situation, she tried with all her will to silence the hysterical laughter she was containing.

Not wanting to expose his father, but still feeling VERY uneasy with his father's probing, Tenchi decided to endure it for the time being.

Sasami's face went red, she stopped breathing and began shaking slightly in hysterical pain...

"AHEM Well Lord Tenchi, I beleive you have some good news to share with the rest of the family." Ayeka announced.

"He sure does." Cooed Ryoko.

What is she talking about? Ryoko and Ayeka both thought.

Once again Sasami stiffled her laughter, but now it began to become obvious something was wrong with the blue-haired princess.

Tenchi had a mouthfull of rice, he swallowed most of it and answered his call.

"Uh, yeah... I think we should boil that carrot." Tenchi said.

Ryoko and Ayeka's face dropped, Ryo-ohki gave an angry whelp of protest.

Nobuyuki moved his game of footsie to the next level, pushing forth, he moved his foot to Tenchi's upper thigh, any closer and...

Tenchi made a whimpering noise which drew him some unwanted attention. Mihoshi still continued staring at Tenchi with teary eyed wonder. As far as Tenchi could tell she hadn't moved out of that position since he sat down.

Washu reached out for the salad bowl. Her hand was shaking so bad Tenchi thought maybe she was having a seizure. She picked up the salad bowl and slowly drew it back, however she was shaking so badly that the salad was flying out of the bowl.

Sasami couldn't hold it much longer...

"Mmm... this beef is good. Don't you think so Mihoshi?" Nobuyuki asked.

Mihoshi didn't answer.

Heh, heh, heh, smooth as a baby's ass. Nobuyuki congratulated himself.

Nobuyuki finally finished the last step in his footsie scheme.

Tenchi's eyes shot wide open. His mouth did the same, dropping the piece of beef he was chewing into his lap.

Nobuyuki paused. Hmm… there's a bit more down there than I was expecting… He frowned.

"Oh, Tenchi! Let me get that for you!" Ryoko cried.

Ryoko quickly bent over and stuck her hand in Tenchi's lap to retrieve the fallen entree, however she went a bit further than merely removing the tasty morsel.

Tenchi, upon having his crotch groped, violently kicked out with his left leg making the table jump up and sending a bottle of soy sauce slamming into Nobuyuki's face.

"Tenchi Dear! What's wrong!" Ayeka screamed.

No one except Yosho and Sasami seemed to care that Nobuyuki was apparently knocked out by the soy sauce.

"I, I, uh..." Tenchi stuttered nervously.

Finally, Mihoshi's silence broke...

"Oh, Tenchi!" MIhoshi yelled.

Mihoshi jumped out of her seat and gripped Tenchi in a tight embrace, and then to the shock of all the conscious people at the table, Mihoshi kissed Tenchi passionately, full on the mouth.

The smack came from Ryoko... knocking the blonde off of Tenchi and onto the floor with one powerful slap.

"Oh, boy!" Sasami screamed in excitement.

"Get OFF of MY TENCHI!" Ryoko screamed.

Ryoko jumped on Tenchi's lap and hid Tenchi's face in her arms."AAH! HELP!" Yelled Tenchi.

"RYOKO! HOW DARE YOU DO THAT TO MY FIANCE?" Ayeka screamed.

"YOUR FIANCE!" Screamed Ryoko, Mihoshi Washu, and especially Tenchi.

"YOU'RE DREAMING AYEKA!" Ryoko screamed.

"It's true! Tell them Tenchi!" Ayeka demanded.

"I,I, don't..." Tenchi started.

"Sorry to burst your bubble, princess, but Tenchi loves me! And I've got the letter to prove it!"

"WHAT!" Ayeka screamed.

"Yes, it's true! Tenchi gave me this letter telling me how he truly feels! HA! HA! HA!"

Ryoko said triumphantly.

Ryoko went to get the letter from out of her dress, but she didn't feel it. She began searching herself for the letter, but found nothing.

"Eeeeeew, this is gonna be BAD." Sasami said.

"YOU'RE SUCH A FILTHY LIAR! TENCHI SENT ME A LETTER! HE LOVES ME! NOT YOU!" An INFURIATED Ayeka screamed.

"NOOOOOOOOO! Tenchi sent the letter to ME! Washu, tell them."

"Hey! What're you talkin' about Mihoshi! You said that you knew what the letter said!" Washu demanded.

"Yeah, it said Tenchi was in love with me and there was some stuff about stars and the sun, and..." Mihoshi never finished her sentence.

"THAT'S MY LETTER!" Yelled Ayeka and Ryoko.

Nobuyuki woke back up and moaned in pain.

"Ouch… Hey I thought the letter was..."

"THAT LETTER IS MINE!" Ayeka screamed.

The madness didn't appear to be coming to a stop anytime soon. So Tenchi stood up out of his seat and decided to make it end...

"I DIDN'T WRITE ANY LETTER TO ANYBODY AT ANY TIME!"

Every person at the table went dead silent, freezing in their tracks. The only sound to be heard was a heart breaking here and there.

"Wha... wha!" Ryoko stuttered.

"Now who wrote that letter!" Tenchi demanded

Nobody said anything, they all waited for someone to speak... it was Yosho.

"Hmm... well Sasami, perhaps you had better explain this.

Everyone immediately turned their heads to Sasami and gave her an intimidtaing stare.

"Uh... well, I found this note in a manga and I, uh, made Ryoko and Ayeka think that Tenchi wrote it.

"Sasami!" Yelled a shocked Ayeka.

I am such an idiot. Some "scientist!" Washu remarked to herself.

"I didn't mean to! It just kinda happened!" She wailed.

"Then how did everyone else get it?" Tenchi screamed.

"Well, you see, Ayeka took it by mistake, and then Ryoko got it, but she musta left it out, cause next thing I know Washu had it."

"Mom! Did you think that Tenchi gave that to you!" Ryoko screamed.

Washu went blank.

"Uh... of course not!" Washu said through a grin.

"So how did I get it?" Mihoshi asked.

"I don't know! I stole it from Washu and threw it in the trash!" Said Sasami.

"Yes, you did." Said Yosho.

"I took that note out of the trash and placed it in Tenchi's room when I saw what you were doing." Yosho explained.

"And then I got it." Mihoshi said.

"But why did you do that!" Sasami asked Yosho.

"To teach you a lesson. I thought that Tenchi would find it and then we wouldn't have had to go through this painful experience." Yosho said.

"Well it didn't work out too good now! Did it!" Ryoko screamed.

"Grandpa!" Tenchi yelled.

"Where's the letter now?" Tenchi asked.

"Why I have it right here!" Mihoshi exclaimed. She started rummaging through her stuff trying to find it.

"umm, no that's not it! No this! No. This maybe! No. Maybe this.No..." Mihoshi continued.

Everyone face-faulted.

"Obviously she doesn't have it, where is it?" Ayeka screamed.

"Uh, I got it." Nobuyuki said sheepishly, pulling the letter out of his shirt pocket.

Everyone was shocked.

"WHY DO YOU HAVE IT?" Everyone yelled.

"Mihoshi gave it to me!" Nobuyuki defended.

Everyone looked at Mihoshi.

"No, that's not right! Mr. Masaki said Tenchi gave it to me when we were in the...oh...oops." Said Mihoshi.

"But who wrote the letter!" Tenchi said.

"Father did." Sasami said.

Sasami pulled out the manga she found in the basement, she pulled out the photo and showed it to the group.

"I found it and this photo in an old manga!" Sasami explained.

"Dad?" Tenchi asked.

Nobuyuki took the photo and the letter and suddenly remembered.

Nobuyuki paused as he looked upon his dead wife's face...

"I wrote this for your mother twenty-four years ago." Nobuyuki said solemly.

"Well why didn't you say anything!" Tenchi demanded.

"I forgot." Nobuyuki said.

"HOW THE HELL COULD YOU FORGET SOMETHING LIKE THAT!" Washu screamed.

"Hey, now, Tenchi... I wrote your mother a lot of love letters." Nobuyuki explained.

"I stopped remembering those letters a long time ago..."

Tenchi's heart softened. As did the others.

"Besides... when your mother died... well... sometimes, it's just easier to forget what hurts." Nobuyuki said.

"Dad..." Tenchi started.

"Don't worry son, I won't forget your mother. I can't."

Tenchi walked over to his father and gave him a hug.

"I'm sorry everybody." Sasami said.

Sasami ran over to her sister and cried into her dress.

"There, there Sasami. We forgive you." Ayeka said.

"Well, if you'll excuse me from this touching scene, I gotta get drunk." Ryoko sad dejectedly.

"Me too." Ayeka added.

"HEY! WAIT A MINUTE!" Mihoshi yelled, catching everyone's attention.

"Mr. Katsuhito?" Mihoshi asked.

"Yes."

"Where did you say you put the letter after Sasami put it into the garbage can?"

"In Tenchi's room. Why?"

"Well how did it get downstairs! I found it hanging in the refrigerator doorway!" Mihoshi said.

Everyone started throwing suspicious glances around the room.

"Allright! Who did it!" Tenchi demanded.

No one said anything, the room went completely silent. Until they heard a little noise eminating from the kitchen...

"Meeeeeoooooooooow."

Everyone face-faulted.

"You don't think..." Tenchi started.

"That Ryo-ohki gave the carrot the note as a love letter!" Ryoko finished.

"Yep." Washu added.

It started out as innocent chuckles. First Ryoko, and then Tenchi, soon Ayeka started laughing, and then Nobuyuki and Mihoshi, and then Washu and Yosho, and then Sasami. And then suddenly it erupted into all out laughter as the entire Masaki household seemed to bursting wall to wall with hysterical laughter, the very kind of laugh that Sasami was hoping for to start with...

"HA! HA! HA! HA! A love letter to a carrot! HA!HA!" Tenchi squealed.

"A love letter to a giant..." Tenchi stopped mid sentence. His face went blank.

"... hey... where's Ryo-ohki!" Tenchi screamed.

The whole group stopped and looked around for Ryo-ohki, but no one saw her.

"... OH, MY GOD! THE CARROT!" Tenchi screamed again.

The whole group bolted into the kitchen. The refrigerator door was wide open...

"AAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"MeeeeeeeeeeOOooooooooooooooooooooooooowwwwwwww." Mewed a very large, a very tired, and VERY fat cabbit.

THE END.

There, not too much to say, again, thanks for reading this, I appreciate your time.

Hopefully you didn't think it sucked.

Hopefully you've read this far, cause if you stopped where it says "THE END" well then, you won't get to read the epilogue below this!

EPILOGUE

Tenchi drank a lot of Nyquil after dinner. He figured that he was gonna need it after the day he had. Strangely enough, he slept quite peacefully without any interruptions. Tenchi dreamed of nice, soft, non-explosive things all night.

Ayeka and Ryoko fell asleep on the couch. Both of them were drunk as skunks. It would be a very baaaaaaaad morning tommorow, as a hangover was definite.

That night Washu stayed up and discovered the secert of thermodynamic presence in black holes.

Yosho slept soundly as ever.

Ryo-ohki downed nine bottles of pepto bismol and mewed in gastric pain as she tried to keep her eight-foot, two-hudred-seventy-six pound body from rolling over.

Sasami reflected on the days events and decided that in the end she finnaly got what she had dreamed of the night before... well, close enough.

Mihoshi stood outside in the moonlight looking across the lake. The day had been rough and a bit dissapointing, but the moon was gorgeous and bright, even at three-a.m. Nobuyuki walked outside and came up next to her.

"Hey Mihoshi." Nobuyuki said with an obvious bit of apologetic sorrow in his voice.

"Hey, Mr... Nobuyuki." Mihoshi corrected.

"Uh... gee, I guess I'd better apologize for the bath." Nobuyuki said, placing a hand behind his head.

Nobuyuki and Mihoshi both blushed at the memory.

"Oh, well, uh... don't worry about it!" Mihoshi said cheerily.

"No, I really am sorry." Nobuyuki apologized.

"It's okay." Mihoshi assured.

"I was sorry you had to see that letter, what with your wife and all..." Mihoshi said.

Suddenly Mihoshi gritted her teeth, realizing what she just said.

"Eeew! I guess I shouldn't have said that! I'm sorry... heh, heh!" Mihoshi said in embarrasment.

"That's okay." Nobuyuki said.

"Today, I learned that it's okay to let go of someone you love and go on to love something else. Ya see, the girls, my father, Tenchi... you... I don't love my family better than Achika... you're just different."

Mihoshi listened intently as Nobuyuki talked.

"I can move on, and still love her too."

"Who knows, maybe someday I'll find someone as nice to me as she was..."

"Um... Nobuyuki?" Mihoshi asked.

"Yeah?"

"Am I nice to you?"

For a moment Nobuyuki said nothing, and then he moved closer, and so did she... their faces almost met, when he looked into her eyes and said...

FWOOOOOOOOOOOM

Bright lights surrounded the two and a booming thunderous roar blasted overhead.

Nobuyuki and Mihoshi looked up to see a massive ship hovering above him.

A moment later a white light materialized in front of them and took the form of a woman...

"AYEKAAAAAA! COME TO MOMMY DEAR! Oh, my little baby! Already grown up and getting married!" Misaki said, crying.

Nobuyuki and Mihoshi looked at the other two forms materializing next to Misaki. Funaho was smiling and holding an armful of presents. Azusa just looked pissed.

Mihoshi and Nobuyuki looked on in tired agitation. Mihoshi now looked depressed again... but Nobuyuki knelt her over and kissed her anyway.

The Galaxy Police detective reacted the only way she knew how...

"AAAAAAAAAH!"

THE REALLY, REALLY, REAL END. M'KAY?


End file.
